Yoga Scared Off Aliens
MUFON UFO/Abduction Reports vs US Yoga Practitioners
Alien abduction reports ticked down as yoga practitioners grew. Greys apparently find warrior II too intimidating. The savasana is a planetary defense system.
“Extraterrestrials avoid regions with elevated mindfulness. The block-and-strap is kryptonite.”
— Dr. Cosmic Chakra, Interstellar Yogi
Why this correlation is stupid
The numbers above are real. Public data on MUFON UFO/Abduction Reports and US Yoga Practitioners happens to move inversely closely enough to produce r ≈ 25% (negative) — a value high enough that, in a less skeptical world, someone would file a Substack post about it. Here, it earns a chart and a chuckle.
Statisticians call this a spurious correlation: two trends that share a shape without sharing a cause. With enough variables tracked over enough years, you can find pairings like this one between almost any two phenomena. Confounding factors, common drivers (population growth, smartphone adoption, the unstoppable march of time), or pure chance can all make graphs hold hands.
Source data is drawn from public datasets. We do not endorse any causal claim — only the comedic one.
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